The Perpetual Victim

If everyone around you thinks you’re in the wrong, it should cause a moment of pause.

Dear Luisa,

If you’re as strong-willed as you sound, then you’ve trained your family to think that you don’t need any support or words of encouragement.  (In fact, you’ve probably bitten their heads off when they tried to give it.  Surprise, they stopped giving it.)

If you feel that they don’t appreciate your efforts, stop giving.  Let them see what life is like when they have to shop for their own groceries and do their own laundry.  And listen to what they have to say — their outside perspectives on situations in your life may yield new, relaxing solutions.  Reason with them and explain your perspective.  (If everyone around you thinks you’re in the wrong, it should cause a moment of pause.)

Communicate and shift more of the housework load to the others.  They’ll soon appreciate all of the work that you do.

– M

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