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September 2001 After a week back at college I realize lot's of things that I casually "forgot" over the summer. I remember how lonely it can feel to ache for no reason. I remember what it's like to walk to dinner and be in pain by the time I get there. "It's okay" I tell myself. "I don't have any medicine in me for the evening…of course it's going to hurt". But so often I wind up losing my appetite and snack on crackers or a piece of bread -- just enough so I can take the pills and not have a stomachache three hours later. To someone in college it can be a vicious cycle. But I'm coping. I sort of came up with that word to describe what I do with myself when it gets really bad like often in the middle of the night. Or on the way to class. I "cope" with the pain because I have no choice. I literally say out-loud "cope Seth, cope" because in the middle of the night, sometimes I need to hear the voice of someone who understands. Coping with the aches; Coping with the pains; Coping with the limitations that are placed on me is what I am expert at doing. And the better I get at coping, the better off I am. If only class were this easy. One week ago today my brother was scheduled for a meeting the following day on the 46th floor of Tower 2 of the World Trade Center. A call came in later on Monday afternoon saying not to bother coming in, the meeting had been rescheduled. As a consultant to major banking firms, my brother Brian thought nothing of it and went on to schedule other meetings elsewhere for Tuesday. Then there's Scott, my brother-in-law. Scott has been married to my sister for five years and welcomed their first child Samatha Lily into the world six months ago. In commercial real estate, Scott often travels throughout Manhattan to different locations with clients. On Tuesday morning he would have had a view from 500 feet and the terror of watching people jump from 90 stories up, the way his co-workers and friends did. Both Brian and Scott -- along with the rest of the world -- watched what happened Tuesday morning. After a whole week they - and the rest of the family - still can't get over how much fate was on their side. But many of their friends and co-workers weren't so lucky. America wasn't so lucky. As native New Yorkers, we have lost neighbors, friends, and companions. Innocent, harmless and good people. Driving home from Boston on Friday I crossed the only open bridge for miles, and looking south I saw the skyline that once had been identifiable by two of the tallest buildings in the world. But on that Friday it was a skyline of smoke. This whole week has been difficult for everyone. Especially a family that came so close to tragedy. For the first time in who knows how long, I hurt more emotionally and psychologically than I do physically. If it weren't for that hug from mom on Friday, who knows how I'd be. Life goes on. We will continue to heal. We will continue to grow stronger. |
