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The Online Dating Game: Do you tell them you've got RA?

Madame advises a woman whether to go all the way with her RA before the first date

Dear Ms. Meniscus:

I'm 32 and divorced and looking to date again. A friend said I should put in my online profile that I have rheumatoid arthritis but I'd rather wait and see if I like someone first. My friend says that's too late to tell because a man should know before he likes me. What do you think?

Ready to Date

 

My Dear Ready to Date - I feel your pain but I'm not sure your friend does. It's your life and your story to tell. That said, there are some amazing pieces of fiction that pass for online dating profiles. Who among us doesn't want to find love? Who among us is perfect? Perhaps you can hint at your RA by saying "not athletic." How physically challenged are you? Madame suspects you may want to be upfront if you are going to be on canes, crutches or wheels. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

That said, perhaps a chronically ill person might want to seek same. With scores of dating web sites dedicated to the bold and beautiful, Madame wondered if there was an online service that might provide a solution for your dating dilemma. There is one called "Prescription4Love" that describes itself as a "dating and friendship service geared toward people with special health conditions and diseases." The founders recognize that dating can be awkward for people with special situations, especially when it comes time to talk about it. Yes, it's nice that your profile can do it for you. I cannot recommend it but only suggest that you explore it.

Whatever you decide to do, Ready to Date, be prepared to split the check to be fair. Your Prince Charming might turn out to be a frog with a bad toupee in desperate need of an Altoid. In this case, let him pick up the check with his webbed feet.  Please share my advice with your high and mighty friend. We all seem to have at least one, don't we? Madame wishes you much luck and lots of love.

--MMM

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