My biggest annoyance of the moment!

Hey Guys,

I have this issue, and I'm hoping you guys can help. 

I live in a small town in North Carolina.  The thing is our town is somewhat rural, and it does not have all the best doctors, or even a mall really.  So the way we cope is by driving into Virginia frequently to obtain the things or services we need.  We border Virginia, so this is about an hour drive each way.

I'm not sure about you guys, but one of the biggest obstacles I face is driving.  I even turned down a job last year to teach college level courses, my dream, b/c the commute was 40 minutes.  And last year, we moved JUST so I could live next to my university, and my husband drove to work an hour each way every day.  We have since moved back since I finished all my courses. 

Anyway, the issue I'm having now is that when I do make the trek to Virginia, I inevitably encounter a Dr., or a salesman, or a friend, etc... who says, "Oh, why don't you just come back tomorrow and do it then? Or every day next week?  Or drive back and forth 5 times a moth?" Whatever their case may be...

And then, I have to explain to these strangers that driving is difficult to me and that after making one trip, I often have trouble moving for two days after.  The drs. get it right away, but why I should have to keep reminding them, I'm not sure.  But everyone else looks at me like I'm crazy.  Sometimes I try to explain RA to them, and that only makes it worse.  They still think I'm crazy, only now I've bored them with my health history.  If I don't explain RA to them, then I feel like then think I'm just lazy.

I know this seems like a minor issue, but it keeps happening, and its driving me crazy.  Ha - pardon the pun.  I just think there must be an EASIER way to explain to people that I cannot just drive to Va on a whim.

Help!

- Kati

[[hugs]]

Hey, with gas prices ALONE - plus wear and tear on your car - it's not feasable for you to drive that far every day! Commutes is the main reason I refuse to take a contract job that A) isn't right here in town or B) I can do from home. Hour-long commutes just take too much out of me.

Maybe say "Look, it's over an hour's drive and X number of miles and X dollars in gas to get here. My back can't take it and my husband has to work and can't take a half a day off t drive me. Is there any way you can squeeze this in while I'm here?"

Almost everyone can understand and sympathize with back pain!

Oh wow...I'm glad you mentioned how trying to explain it to them makes it worse. It really does,because then they try to compare their bad ankle or knee from athletics in high school to your very severe possibly crippling disease of the immune system and expect you to have a laugh about it. Makes you just want to strangle them. Anyway, I feel your pain. My sister and I share a car and she wonders why I never want to drive or run my own errands. I explain to her every other day that it makes the next couple of days of my life absolutely miserable and she stares at with this blank, cynical stare as if it couldn't possibly be that bad...Its infuriating. People don't realize exactly how much easier their every day life is than ours. It comes so easy for them that even on their sickest days, certain things just aren't a big deal for them to do. If I could get one week back when moving around was that easy, I'd schedule 20 apointments and a surgery! LOL

Deidra I did the surgery and it rots!!!  Now i am not allowed to drive and can barely sit up by myself. 

Carolann I know I am whining.  That's it i'm done.

We understand we have to plan out what we can/want to expend our energy on and choose wisely mind you or we have nothing left to get through the day.  

Recently the Fatigue with this disease ROTS!!!

My most fav thing was a drive. A nice long relaxing drive, windows down and music up- now I can barely walk after just sitting in the car for 20 mins! The seatbelt feels like vise on my shoulder, with some evil imp cranking it tighter every time I steer the wheel. My last job was delivering pizza and I was down to only working every other day. After a mere 4 hour shift I was whooped, and even the next day I could barely move. I had to quit working after a lil car accident-it aggravated every pain I already had. It really is hard to hear people compare their pain or injuries to my RA. I really dont bother explaining anymore, I see the look of disbelief and if they dont say it I know they are thinking-You dont look sick. I am blessed to have a mother that knows my pain is real, she has had dear friends with chronic illnesses and knows how real the pain is for me. I am 37, single, no children, with no other family members suffering from any auto-immune diseases-most times I feel very alone. Friends have told me they dont want me around because I am not the same person I was 2 yrs ago. What they dont know-I was gritting my teeth against the pain then too. Now I count myself lucky to be able to get out of the house 3x a week. Thanks for the opportunity to speak my piece here, I little understanding goes a long way.

Colleen

[[Friends have told me they dont want me around because I am not the same person I was 2 yrs ago.]]

Charming. Some friends, huh? [[hug]] I'm glad you have an understanding family. And we'll be honored to be your online "family" as well!

Realizing that you guys feel the same way is a big help!  To others it may seem a small thing, but really driving equals freedom.  It is just so frustrating!

Her's something funny... I have friends that say when something seems unbearalbe that we are suposed to "Give it to God." 

In other words, stop worrying about it in the hopes that he'll help find a way around your obstacle.  I, on the other hand, sometimes use the practice: "Give it to the Creakies."

Colleen,

First welcome to creaky. Carolan and Kati are right your friends weren't real friends if this is what they have to say and feel.  Friends are the ones that will be there in good and bad times.  Here you will find there are a lot of Creaky friends and we will be here to listen and give you our opinions no matter how we feel also. 

Kati has it right if you can not understand why give it to god: it will be handled in the appropriate fashion. Remember it might not be what you want but it will be what is best, and  you will find out why in the long run.  We are all given a cross to bare and we do the best w can with what we have. 

So with that all said you have a group of friends here that will be here always!!

Tess