Recently I've been experiencing some stomach problems. The kind of problems that don't seem too alarming -- at least not at first -- but are a nuisance and, while I'm able to cope, I wanted to fix sooner than later. Upside of having an upset stomach: I lost about 4 pounds last week. Downside:  I became very familiar with the proximity to a bathroom at all hours of the day (and night). Not the healthiest way to lose weight, but an effective one nonetheless. 

So I did the responsible thing -- sought the opinion of an expert -- and addressed the problem after it didn't go away for five days.  

Here's where the story gets good.  

While at the gastroenterologist (GI doc) last week, I ran through my symptoms. Told him I hadn't been out of the country, but did mention that I had one bite of a friend's White Castle hamburger the other day (we got the drive-thru no less). It was apparent that I was dealing with a food-borne illness, or a parasite, versus something systemic and horrible -- which was the good news. The bad news was that this doctor was thorough. Very, very thorough with his physical exam.

Having never gotten a rectal exam in my life, I figured it would be like the movies:  quick and easy. Well, to say the least, it was neither quick nor easy. Most importantly, it was uncomfortable – and it took me about 10 minutes to fully recover. And here's the thing:  during those 10 minutes, the doctor was talking to me and I didn't absorb a single word he said. I sat there, in a lot of discomfort, wondering where I could get a cup of water (and some chocolate). Good thing he essentially said, "You're OK," because had he had anything else to tell me, it would have gone in one ear and out the other.  

The moral of the story is that if you go to the doctor, it's a good idea to bring someone with you who can listen to the doctor while you recover from any tests or exams you may undergo. Even if they don't require anesthesia or sedatives, it turns out that some exams are fairly traumatic and require a few minutes afterward. This is when your friend or family member can step up and go to work. Kind of makes me wish I had done that -- at the time I could have also used a hug.  

But, alas, it's all behind me now. So to speak.

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Remember when you used to go to the doctor to get your "summer physical"? At the time I didn't know what it was for, but knew that without getting one, I wasn't permitted to go to camp. Instead, we'd suck it up, go to the doctor, find out which "shots" we needed to get, and move on. Life was rough as a kid.

Well, now that adulthood has set in, I can relate in a whole different way.

I haven't gotten an actual "physical" in a while -- pushing eight months or so -- and I'm afraid to go for one now. Most importantly, it's the cholesterol number I'm afraid of, but also a little apprehensive about discovering any number of nonsense issues he might uncover in a "routine physical."

Let me put it in different terms. Whenever the "check engine" light goes on in my car, I curse (out loud) because I know that WHATEVER is the problem, it's going to cost me. The last time I brought my car into the shop for a broken tail light, I wound up with a $770 bill for a leak in the intake valve, a realignment of the wheels and a something-or-other that I can't even a little bit remember.

What if that happens at my doctor this month? I like my valves the way they are -- and don't need to discover any leaks just yet.

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My friend Yoni, the dentist, gave me very valuable advice the other day.

He said that two weeks before I see my dentist, I should floss every day.  This essentially reverses the entire year of not flossing -- and makes the dentist think that I am.

Brilliant!

It made me wonder, Is there something equivalent I can do for my rheumatologist?

I saw him (the rheumatologist) the other day, and I got to thinking about all of the visits I've had over 15 years.

There are the good days and bad days, the ups and downs.  Some days I felt great the day I saw him, others I felt terrible.

I wish there were something I could do two weeks leading up to the visit to paint a prettier picture. Or perhaps the opposite -- to have a really bad day so he sees what they're like, firsthand, instead of listening to me try to explain what it's like.

Either way, I'm six days into the flossing.  Eight days to go!

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I spent this week popping toothpicks in my eye-lids (to keep them open, that is) and soaking my feet in a hot tub of water every night -- all because of running 100 miles per hour attending the American College of Rheumatology's annual scientific meeting.

Or, as we know it, the Super Bowl of arthritis:  tens of thousands of rheumatologists from around the world descend on a city for a week (Philly this year) to share their experiences, exchange best practices, and envy the chic fashion style of the European physicians.  They're hot.

We're gathering lots of information about what's new and exciting, taking in the data at press conferences, and saying hi to old friends (doctors, nurses, and more) we have met and known throughout the years.

I find myself in sheer amazement at the size of this conference -- left pondering how many rheumatologists there are in the world.  Every corner, too!  From Kenya to Japan to Iceland to Milwaukee (yes, Milwaukee), there is a specialist who has dedicated his or her life to helping people like us feel better.

I've had early mornings and late nights these past several days -- fueled mainly by the energy I get from meeting everyone who is so excited about the world of rheumatology.

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Most people opt out of politics unless there's a juicy scandal involving an intern, a bag of money in the freezer, or an escort.  Which really grinds my gears, because when a subject like health care comes up, we all need to pay attention.  The old saying goes "if you don't have your health ..." -- so I ask myself, how could anyone afford to ignore what's going on?

Here's the problem:  it affects all of us (especially those with arthritis) because we're the ones living with a chronic condition who rely on good health care to live a decent life.

If you've ever gotten a referral, been prescribed multiple medications, needed a test (like an MRI) or even a second opinion, you've likely had difficulty navigating the complicated mess of approval, authorization, and reimbursement that is health insurance benefits.

It's hard not to get angry at the thought of an insurance company denying a claim.  I remember way back when I was prescribed a Prilosec (proton pump inhibitor) to keep the other medicine I was taking from causing an ulcer.  That one little pill (back then it was prescription-only) was so annoying to get approvals for, it must have taken a dozen phone calls a month between the doctor's office, pharmacy, insurance company and my mom.  And why?  Because an MBA graduate at the health insurance company made a formula that kicked back costly drugs because there were other alternatives available.

Even then I never understood how an insurance company could challenge a doctor's decision to prescribe a certain medicine.  Why even separate the two?  If we're going to get screwed by the insurance company, why not take out the middleman and have Blue Cross open clinics for their doctors to tell us up front that the medicine or tests we need aren't covered, so we won't even bother.

Whichever "side" or whatever opinion one might have about the health care conversation, it's best to at least get involved and know more.  And know more doesn't mean learn everything from Fox News or even MSNBC.  It comes down to learning and thinking about some of the complexities that comprise the issue.  Boiling down health care into small sound bites or news stories (like disruptive town hall meetings) doesn't scratch the surface.

And it doesn't do us any good if we're going to actually get hooked up and stop being jerked around.

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