holidays
The Passive Aggressive "Mother-in-Law"
My boyfriend and I have limited vacation time and decided to spend this year's holidays with my family. His mother has been working overtime to guilt us into extending our vacation and visiting them. What should I do? -- Stressed Stacy
Dear Stacy,
First, your boyfriend needs to stand up to his mother and put a stop to her shenanigans. Do NOT take this challenge on yourself -- doing so would simply welcome her to drive a wedge in your relationship and cause even more problems.
Second, stay firm: his mother needs to learn to respect your decisions (acceding to her wishes will only teach her that she can, indeed, get her way if she's persistent enough).
-- M
The Overbearing Family
As Christmas nears, I feel like my family is pulling me in a million directions -- presents, travel plans, you name it. I'm overextended as it is. What can I do? -- Billy in Brisbane
Dear Billy,
Tell your family exactly what you told me. Two sentences. That's all it takes.
Most of those close to us -- family, friends, co-workers -- have no idea they're asking too much until you tell them.
If by "overextended" you mean financially, do not feel embarrassed to tell them so! It's entirely smart to know your limits and stay within them. And there are many thoughtful, satisfying presents you can give that require little-to-no cost.
Sit down. Breathe. And let your creativity flow.
-- M
Anti inflammatory.
