future
The New Co-Worker
I was promised that I'd be the only trainer in my club. Now another woman is being brought on board. I'm so angry I could quit. What do I do? -- Perturbed Patty
Dear Patty,
Your frustration is understandable, especially if someone new is being brought on board in lieu of you receiving a deserved raise. As hard as it is, you must relax, and figure out how to use these new circumstances to your advantage.
Pool your resources together with the new woman to ensure more clients for you both.
Split the load of undesirable tasks laid upon the trainers.
And stick up for yourself -- don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing (like giving up clients you've already begun training).
-- M
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The Undecided Student
I'm nearing the end of my freshman year in college and I still don't know what I want to do. Pressure is coming at me from all sides. I don't know what to do. -- Billy in Birmingham
Dear Billy,
My dear poppet, some of the most interesting folks in my life are in their 50s ... and still don't know "what they want to do." Life is precious -- enjoy it!
While you're having fun, think about this for me: My grandma used to say that the luckiest people in the world were the folks who would do their job for free. Happiness is key. What do you love to do? What are you passionate about? What are the first and last things you think about in a day?
You'd be a fool not to switch your studies to your answers to those questions.
-- M
The Fearful Friend
I have had the hugest crush on this friend of mine for several months now, and it's getting worse. Normally I'm the center of the party. But when he enters the room, I find it increasingly difficult to breathe, let alone string two words together. What do I do? -- Talkative Todd
Dear Todd,
You, my friend, have the Band-Aid Syndrome. You've been dreaming for so long about the possibilities of what may happen if you broach this subject with him that you've grown terrified of the potential (and perhaps nonexistent) pain involved.
Rip off the Band-Aid!
Call up your friend and ask him if he wants to grab lunch sometime. While you're eating and chatting, gauge his interest. Maybe he's been flirting with you this whole time, but you were too nervous to notice.
And maybe he's not interested, but would like to be platonic friends. Whichever the case, you'll have vanquished this overwhelming weight hanging over you.
-- M
The Best Mate
My friend Stacie is my best mate in the world, and I think I've fallen in love with her. I want to explore the possibility of dating, but fear she'll simply take the mickey out of me at the thought. What can I do? -- Dirk in Devonshire
Dear Dirk,
If you don't tell her, you'll regret it forever. (No pressure.) Especially if, years on down the road, you discover that she held similar feelings for you.
Sometimes folks do fall in love with their best friends (and we should all be so lucky as to have our best friend as our partner!). That is nothing to be afraid of.
Ask her if she has a free hour coming up, sit her down ... (breathe) ... and tell her how you feel. Be prepared that she may not feel the same way about you. But also enjoy the release as you get these feelings off your chest.
-- M
The Wandering Musician
I have been studying to be a musician ever since I was in elementary school. But now I've decided to be a nurse, and I'm not sure what to do. -- Kimberly in Kansas
Dear Kimberly,
As we "grow up," we unfortunately learn that there are never enough hours in the day for all that we love to do (work has a persistent way of intruding upon that time for most of us). So it's natural for you to feel that you may have to give up the central role music has played in your life up to this point.
However, don't give up music entirely. There is no reason you cannot play your instrument for fun in your free time -- even if that means only an hour a week while in nursing school.
You can change the direction of your life without giving up that which you cherish. Make it a point to bring music along for the ride.
-- M

