friends
The Hard of Hearing
Family and friends come to me with tech help, but they won't listen to my recommendations. Oftentimes they ignore my advice and turn to someone else ... but then call me up later to clean up the mess their "tech friend" created. What do I do? -- Mad Mark
Dear Mark,
The obvious answer is stop helping them -- ESPECIALLY when they've ignored your advice and created an even bigger mess.
Here you were, willing and able to volunteer your time to help them in the first place. And your time is much too valuable to waste cleaning up messes that were entirely avoidable.
-- M
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The Missed Appointments
My friend breaks our plans all the time. I've confronted her about this, but she thinks I'm making a mess out of nothing. What should I do? -- Rita in Rohnert Park
Dear Rita,
Your friend is disrespecting you and your time. You're entirely right to share with her that you feel mistreated and hurt.
If she doesn't change her ways, it's time to find a better friend.
-- M
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The Missing Food
My roommate keeps eating my food and it's driving me mad. What do I do? -- Lilly in Lubbock
Dear Lilly,
Talk to her. If you haven't established rules for the kitchen and its contents, do so now. Label items, separate items by shelf, whatever -- just get on the same page.
She may not realize she's upsetting your day -- and this is not worth filling the apartment with tension.
-- M
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The Abuser
A bud of mine and I became good friends in college because he helped me through a really sad time. Now, however, he blows me off frequently at the last minute, always disrespects my wishes when it comes to hanging out, and seems to have more fun with new friends he's made ... who happen to socialize on a slightly higher level than his old friends ever could. What do I do? -- Pat in Purchase
Dear Pat,
My poor poppet -- if there is one thing I hate, loathe, and detest in this world, it is flaky people. And you, my friend, have found one.
This acquaintance of yours (trust me, he's no true friend) shows no respect for you, your wishes, or your time. He's only ever going to cause trouble from this point on -- and he's not worth it.
Cut him loose and hang with friends who treat you well.
-- M
The Indecisive One
I fully expect that when we graduate high school, many of us friends will grow apart -- and that's OK. I have this friend, though, that bugged me, bugged me, bugged me to keep in touch and not let things change. I've tried several times, but haven't heard a peep ... except when she contacts me every few months complaining about how we're growing apart. How do I stop this? -- Lucy in Logansport
Dear Lucy,
It sounds like your friend is refusing to accept reality, which is wholly unhealthy.
You have accepted it, which is good -- but very annoying when she contacts you, completely unable to make up her mind (if she had, she either wouldn't call you, or would follow through on her words with some action).
Give her an ultimatum. If she meets it, and you're still interested in the benefits she brings to your life, see where the friendship goes.
If she bails, cut her loose.
-- M
Hello new to the forum and so confused with my diagnosis
