Dear Jennifer,

We are all our own fiercest advocates -- for ourselves and loved ones.  Do not hesitate to jump in the fray and work for better care for your mother.

Call the nursing home.  Call area doctors.  Talk to your own doctor for advice.  You do not have to settle for anything less than the best care possible for your mother.

If nothing progresses, consider traveling to where your mother is to track down these people in person and talk to them.  Or consider moving your mother closer to you to make in-person meetings easier.

Remember that your mother did exactly that for you during the first decades of your life.  No one should hesitate returning the favor.

-- M

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Dear Ashley,

My poor poppet, as Dr. Laurie would say, "You have to be your own, fiercest advocate!"  If you're extremely low on energy, enlist the help of friends and family.

Forget your perception -- call the doctor's office and succinctly explain your misery.  See if they have an emergency slot you can slide into today or tomorrow (many doctors secretly keep slots open just for this reason).

If not, get yourself to an urgent care center -- Promptcare and Medcheck are popular here in the Midwest, though names vary region to region.  Find them in the phone book, online, or by asking your doctor's office and local hospital.

As long as you're miserable, you won't be able to concentrate on anything else.  Be brave and take control of the situation.

-- M