Dear Callie,

Grieving our lost loved ones is not easy.  We feel that their presence -- their energy -- has been stolen from us, leaving us less than whole.

Please don't admonish yourself for experiencing this.  Grieving is a natural process.

However, ask yourself this:  Would your mother have wanted you to drift aimlessly about, wallowing in endless sorrow?  Your were close to her.  What would she have wanted you to do?  What did the two of you enjoy doing before she passed?

"Moving on" doesn't necessitate radical changes in your life from before.  You can return to the life you loved -- highlighted with the remembrances of your mother and the vitality she brought to everything and everyone around her.

Chin up, young person.  Wherever your mother is now, I'm sure she'd enjoy seeing you smile.

-- M

Dear Ollie,

Take control.

Communicate to your mother that you've reached an age at which you must strike out on your own -- make your own successes and mistakes.  If you haven't done so already, move out.  Put space between you.

If you don't, you'll only remain miserable.

-- M

Dear Ryan,

In all honesty, I feel the same way every winter.  Something about the dreary skies and bone-chilling weather ... it zaps my spirit.  (Perhaps in that stimulus bill I can find some funds to relocate to warmer environs.)

You could be affected by the seasons.  If you feel sad or depressed, too, I would suggest talking to your doctor about Seasonal Affective Disorder.

With the dry heat of indoors and probable lack of physical activity, you may be dehydrated.  Remember, you should be drinking just as much pure water a day now as you do in the summertime.

And you may not be getting enough quality sleep.  Recent studies in the news have reiterated that the average American adult requires a minimum seven hours of sleep per night to maintain good health and energy.  Experiment with different settings (e.g. thick curtains blocking out all noise and light, using a white noise machine, setting the sleep timer on the TV, etc.) to try and sleep better.

-- M

Dear Stephanie,

First, ask your friends directly why they feel this way.  I'm betting that, despite the happiness you feel on the inside, you project to them an air of unhappiness, bitterness or criticism.

Many of us do this -- it's a learned trait in conversation.  We don't know how to keep a discussion going if we're not bemoaning this or complaining about that.

Try focusing on the positive in your comments and the subjects you broach.

-- M

Dear Sarah,

My sweet cherub, there is no simple solution to your dilemma -- and my heart aches that guilt has caused such hardship in your life.

To me, your letter speaks to a larger problem and, as such, I have asked Dr. Laurie to help us create a guide for moving forward.

Please read her thoughts by clicking here.


-- M

Dear Nikki,

If you find yourself severely incapacitated in daily activities, you may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) -- also known as "winter depression."

There is nothing to be ashamed of if this is the case.  It's a matter of your brain's chemicals getting out of whack.

Pay a visit to your primary care physician or seek a referral to a psychologist -- a professional with whom you can discuss your experiences and plan a strategy to better manage them.

-- M