Dear Adam,

Do you love him?  If so, the answer is easy:  do everything in your power to obtain a work or student visa and take a spin in the Old Country.  (Think of it as your turn to travel.)

What is there to be scared of?  Being happy?  Leaving material possessions behind?  (Trust me, you can replace them.)

Life is too short.  Go to France.  Go get your man.

-- M

Dear Michael,

Call your mother out when she's making judgmental statements.  Do this as they happen.  She needs to learn how her words are affecting those around her.

If hurt feelings don't persuade her, appeal to her sense of social etiquette:  needlessly attacking family and friends verbally is just plain rude.

Do something.  This is 2009.  Your girlfriend is not going to stay with someone who won't stand up to his mother.

-- M

Dear Ben,

Precisely because you're writing to me for advice, I assume that you personally feel slight remorse or guilt over the number of your female acquaintances.  (Casanovas don't generally reflect upon the consequences of their courting ways ... in fact, if friends took notice, they would see it only as a compliment.)

Look, people will think what they will -- no matter how you wish they didn't.  Only you can take responsibility for yourself and your actions.  If this public persona you're cultivating is not you, then figure out how to develop a different one.  (And yes, from a grandma in Missouri, that might mean dating fewer women at once.)

-- M

Dear Todd,

You, my friend, have the Band-Aid Syndrome.  You've been dreaming for so long about the possibilities of what may happen if you broach this subject with him that you've grown terrified of the potential (and perhaps nonexistent) pain involved.

Rip off the Band-Aid!

Call up your friend and ask him if he wants to grab lunch sometime.  While you're eating and chatting, gauge his interest.  Maybe he's been flirting with you this whole time, but you were too nervous to notice.

And maybe he's not interested, but would like to be platonic friends.  Whichever the case, you'll have vanquished this overwhelming weight hanging over you.

-- M

Dear Dirk,

If you don't tell her, you'll regret it forever.  (No pressure.)  Especially if, years on down the road, you discover that she held similar feelings for you.

Sometimes folks do fall in love with their best friends (and we should all be so lucky as to have our best friend as our partner!).  That is nothing to be afraid of.

Ask her if she has a free hour coming up, sit her down ... (breathe) ... and tell her how you feel.  Be prepared that she may not feel the same way about you.  But also enjoy the release as you get these feelings off your chest.

-- M