We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.

-- Marion Wright Edelman

The effect of giving on mental and physical health seems to be in the air these days.  A new book by Cami Walker -- 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life -- was recently brought to my attention.  Diagnosed with a progressive illness, holistic healer gave the author a prescription for feeling better:  giving a gift to someone every day for 29 days.  Walker's book is a description of how that benefited not only those who received, but how she -- the giver -- also reaped rewards.

Giving is a practice that researchers have studied.  The benefit seems to be about two things:  giving meaning and a biological boost that may be hardwired. Hands-on volunteering -- that is, work that involves direct contact with people -- seems to hold the most benefit (Psychology Today, 1988).  It is not clear exactly why this works, but the effect is unmistakable:  those with chronic pain feel better, are more able to cope, and possess improved moods.

This is what the professionals like to call a synergistic effect -- it is less cause and effect, and more a subtle weaving together of all the influences into a more healthful and positive state of being.

It doesn't have to be formal volunteer work.

On her new Web site, 29days.org, Walker invites comments and gives ideas about how to give.  She suggests that giving is a way to strengthen your health, along with exercise and medication.  It may be as simple as a note or a phone call.  In a recent article in Yoga Magazine, one of the authors describes her practice of baking a cake for someone every Saturday.  It may be adding a volunteer hour to your week, and doing a less structured act on other days.

If you decide to take on this opportunity, it seems that what is most beneficial is the daily practice that invites you to turn outward to someone else.  That is what reminds us that no matter what the state of our health, we have something to offer, and that there are those who need us.  The emphasis on thinking of others may relieve stress, and it certainly opens our hearts.

The web of connection and relationships made of kindness and openheartedness is the healing balm that spreads in every direction, even in ways we cannot see or know.

We are gearing up for those New Year resolutions.  Do you think you are ready to try the 29 days challenge?  If you do, let me know how it works for you, what you choose to do, and how you feel.

Have a blessed and lively holiday season, and may your New Year be healthy and full of opportunities to give and grow.

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When you walk into any store, it is obvious we have slid into that time of year.

The Holidays.

I know, it seems premature to begin addressing that in October!  But Halloween candy, shorter daylight, and decorations in the local Target all suggest to me that it is a good time to prepare for how we want to handle the combination of temptation and deprivation.

The temptations come in the form of eating too much, eating the wrong things, going out to often, and overloading on stressful expectations and events.

The deprivations are giving up exercise or other healthful practices (because "there's not enough time"), losing sleep, and putting your health last instead of first.

"I'll do it once the holidays are over" applies to everything from a doctor's appointment, to keeping better track of medication, to resting.

Here are a few tips to help you prepare mentally for how you want to handle this time.  The result is that you will be more relaxed, more in charge, and able to enjoy all the blessings of the holiday seasons -- from Halloween through New Year's!

Create a game plan.

Although we vow every year to do it differently, most of us get sucked into a whirlwind, primarily because we didn't think ahead of what we wanted to do -- and what we wanted to avoid.

Take a moment and list what are the most difficult aspects of the next six weeks for you.

Then think what are the best.

Compare your lists.  What can you stop doing?  What will be your priority for your time and attention and money?  What is most important to you?  How will you make sure you do that?

Preparation makes a big difference -- and it isn't hard.  Carve out some space and time to think ahead instead of reacting to every phone call, invitation, and request.

Put your health ahead on the list.

Dealing with a chronic and unpredictable illness isn't fun.  It isn't easy either.

But ignoring what you need to do to feel OK only compounds the difficulty.

You deserve to feel your best -- even if that takes time away from other people or projects.  The holidays aren't going to be enjoyable for you if you have exhausted yourself taking care of everyone else's food preferences or last-minute whims.

If exercise helps, don't neglect it.  If you need an afternoon break, don't skip it.  If rich food aggravates your joints, don't have it in the house.

Think about what you need -- and do it.

Practice cutting things out before you add in.

From homemade Halloween costumes, to perfect turkeys, to a gift-buying blitz -- there is a lot of extra pressure.  And for those of you who don't have to run a household, there is still the pressure of the office party, the family expectations, and often the loneliness of everyone else's holiday preoccupation.

Sometimes it's the prospect of spending so much time with your family that send you over the edge.

This season, think what you might eliminate.

How can you slow down and do a little less?  Can you keep your schedule a little lighter and give yourself a little more room?  Can you see only the people who really matter -- and maybe for a shorter burst of time?

Think about eliminating and streamlining.

This season can be magical.  It can also stress your life and aggravate your illness.

You can choose to create the path through the next weeks that works for you -- and supports your health.  As always, it's up to you!

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A colleague of mine had a serious operation last month.  She has had rheumatoid arthritis (RA) for over 30 years, and lived through some severe flares that kept her bed-bound.

The result of some of these flares has been a crippling of her hands, and in particular her right hand. The deterioration -- that so many of you know so well -- has continued.  She has had more and more trouble using that hand to write, to drive, to open doors and jars, and to hold a cup of coffee.

For some time now she has been considering hand surgery to replace her knuckles.  This would unbend and unfreeze her hand, but the surgery is lengthy and potentially very painful.  The fear of the pain and being even more incapacitated kept stopping her.

Who wants to voluntarily sign up for pain, a hospital stay, and an uncertain outcome?  What if -- after all the trouble -- it didn't even make that much difference?  What if there were more pain?

She was full of doubt and indecision.  She talked about it for several years, and kept finding reasons to put it off.  The bottom line:  she was scared.

Last month, she did it.

The full results aren't clear yet, but the intermediate results are stunning.  She can move fingers that haven't been in motion in 20 years.  It makes her cry to experience the change and the possibilities that are now here for her.

It makes me cry, too, and it makes me wonder how it is that so often we don't make the moves that would change our lives because we're scared.

Courage.  The word comes from cour or heart.  Some of the work of living our lives in the biggest and strongest way we can means living from our hearts -- letting that energy move us forward.  Trusting our heart energy to carry us through those stuck places and those frightening valleys.

On a news show last week I saw another example.  A town in the Midwest had been the site of a deep mine.  It turns out the metal they were mining was toxic when large quantities of it were exposed to the air, and there were hills of sludge and waste piles all around the town.  It was declared a disaster area, and everyone was asked to move out of the town.  The government paid to relocate them, and slowly all of the businesses closed. The Post Office left.  There were no more grocery stores.  The schools and churches were empty.

The story focused on a woman who had lived in this town her entire life.  She was born there, married there, and had her children there.  She was being interviewed because she refused to leave.  She couldn't imagine living anywhere else.  She couldn't let go.

Wow.  The visual was her house -- surrounded by these mountains of toxic gravel -- and she was rocking on her front porch, staying put in a ghost town.

What a metaphor for the way we sometimes live.  We can't imagine the next place -- we are afraid of what it will take for us to get there.  So we stay put.  Talking about how hard it is.

If that feels like you today, go into your heart.  See where your courage is -- to take one step in the direction you need to go.

It may not be as dramatic as having your knuckles replaced, or moving to a new town.  It may be deciding that it is necessary for you to start some exercise, or take a class because you really are thinking about training for a different job.  It may be investigating some new treatments or starting your own blog.

Whatever it is, breathe into your heart and let your courage unfold.

Then set forth.

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