While browsing through an article entitled "Perspective: Searching for Balance" in the Harvard Divinity School Bulletin, I came across an idea that intrigued me:  the importance of middle ground.

The author, Kathryn Dodgson, quotes a Nigerian writer, Chinua Achebe. Achebe writes that he is fascinated by the middle ground -- "It is neither the origin of things nor the last things; it is aware of a future to head into and a past to fall back on; it is the home of doubt and indecision, of suspension of disbelief, of make-believe, of playfulness, of the unpredictable, of irony."

My thinking was stimulated by the invitation to consider a  "middle ground" or middle way.  That idea is so out of favor in a culture of extremes.  Political and economic fortunes ride a roller coaster of extremes.  Religious convictions are either fanatical or absent.  We are encouraged to believe in absolutes in relationships, career choices and, of course, in regard to health.  We are considered either healthy or sick, strong or weak, flaring or in remission.

Yet isn't our reality more complicated than that?  None of us are in just one place.

Achebe, in his collection of essays, The Education of a British-Protected Child, writes that his people, the Igbo, prefer not singularity but duality.  Wherever Something Stands, Something Else Will Stand Beside It.  Isn't that a perfect description of life with illness?

We may see this most clearly in our fear -- on good days we are often only too aware that our joint disease Stands Close By.  It is difficult to believe in the singularity of health once chronic illness has struck.

But the reverse is also true -- and here is where we can miss something important.  You have a day where you only feel fatigue and aches.  It may seem that illness is the only reality.  But if you allow yourself to see your body in a larger context, you recognize that your health is also present -- it Stands Beside your fatigue and pain.

The middle ground, the middle way is a reminder that we are never really on one shore or the other -- we are all navigating back and forth, weaving several strands together in our lives.  One of the strands is the illness, one of the strands is our radiant health, one of the strands is pain, one of the strands is energy, and on and on it goes.

You may be wondering, how can this idea aid your daily living?

If you have the mental habit of "either/or" thinking, it can help to shade in a middle ground.  When you ask yourself "How am I feeling today?" -- go beyond "good" or "lousy."  Well, I have some pain in my knee, and the sun is shining on my head -- so there is some pain and some warmth and relaxation.

Look for the Middle Way, not just the extremes, and value it.  We can live in that place -- there is room to embrace more of life, and room for things to happen.  Mystery lives in the middle, as do miracles and possibilities.  This is where communication and community dwell -- where we join hands and hearts.

I look forward to meeting you there.

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We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.

-- Marion Wright Edelman

The effect of giving on mental and physical health seems to be in the air these days.  A new book by Cami Walker -- 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life -- was recently brought to my attention.  Diagnosed with a progressive illness, holistic healer gave the author a prescription for feeling better:  giving a gift to someone every day for 29 days.  Walker's book is a description of how that benefited not only those who received, but how she -- the giver -- also reaped rewards.

Giving is a practice that researchers have studied.  The benefit seems to be about two things:  giving meaning and a biological boost that may be hardwired. Hands-on volunteering -- that is, work that involves direct contact with people -- seems to hold the most benefit (Psychology Today, 1988).  It is not clear exactly why this works, but the effect is unmistakable:  those with chronic pain feel better, are more able to cope, and possess improved moods.

This is what the professionals like to call a synergistic effect -- it is less cause and effect, and more a subtle weaving together of all the influences into a more healthful and positive state of being.

It doesn't have to be formal volunteer work.

On her new Web site, 29days.org, Walker invites comments and gives ideas about how to give.  She suggests that giving is a way to strengthen your health, along with exercise and medication.  It may be as simple as a note or a phone call.  In a recent article in Yoga Magazine, one of the authors describes her practice of baking a cake for someone every Saturday.  It may be adding a volunteer hour to your week, and doing a less structured act on other days.

If you decide to take on this opportunity, it seems that what is most beneficial is the daily practice that invites you to turn outward to someone else.  That is what reminds us that no matter what the state of our health, we have something to offer, and that there are those who need us.  The emphasis on thinking of others may relieve stress, and it certainly opens our hearts.

The web of connection and relationships made of kindness and openheartedness is the healing balm that spreads in every direction, even in ways we cannot see or know.

We are gearing up for those New Year resolutions.  Do you think you are ready to try the 29 days challenge?  If you do, let me know how it works for you, what you choose to do, and how you feel.

Have a blessed and lively holiday season, and may your New Year be healthy and full of opportunities to give and grow.

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It's the time of year when we're thinking about vacations.

Maybe you are anticipating going away, or perhaps you've already gone.  Some of us are just dreaming about it.

Vacations are essential for everybody -- and particularly for those who have a chronic and painful condition.  The break in routine, the exploration of new sights, the creation of memories and relaxation all contribute to a healthier mind and attitude and body.

Yet we often put that need aside.  "I can't afford to get away!"  That's our usual excuse.

Whether we can't afford the money or the time or the energy, we give up and put vacations on the back burner in our mind.

The reality is that we don't need to go away for a week or even physically leave our homes in order to get some of the best benefits of a vacation.  We can create "mini-retreats" or even brief mental vacations that can offer us some of the best nourishment of a time away.

To do that, there are a few pointers.

"Set the table."

By that, I mean, put aside a little time and prepare for your mental break the way you would for any trip.  Think of where you'd like to go.  And it works especially well if you choose somewhere you've been and loved.  Using your memory and imagination, recall specific details of the place -- smells, sounds, the slant of the light, what you are wearing ... make it detail rich.

Last year my daughter and I took a brief trip to San Francisco for her high school graduation present.  It was one of the best trips of my life -- and I will never be able to repeat it.  So, I have thousands of delicious details tucked away in my mind so I can take that trip again any time I want!

Put lots of wonderful things on the table.

It's a vacation, remember!  So you get to eat, and put your toes in the water, and feel the sun, and listen to the birds and the wind in the trees -- whatever pleases you.

To ramp up your relaxation, use all your senses.  Eat something, listen to certain music, put out a scent.  Have a raspberry, sniff a rose, hold a beach shell.  The more you stimulate your senses, the more you will relax.  Look at pictures that remind you of how happy a time you had and are having again!

Spend as much -- or as little -- time as you please.

You will get the benefits very quickly.  Your pulse will slow, your mind will unclench, you may be breathing a little more easily, and for sure you will find yourself smiling.

That's what happy feels like.  You don't need to do this for very long.  The effects will last for a while.  When you need another break, do it again.

The best effects happen if we practice vacationing regularly -- every day, or twice a day.
You give yourself a big sunshiny happy vitamin.

That's a break we can all afford and it offers a rich payoff.

Bon voyage!

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