Every morning when I turn on my computer and boot up my e-mail, a lovely post appears from a fiery woman named Danielle LaPorte.  Her blog is titled White Hot Truth and I never know what will show up -- a song, a quote, a poem, a musing.

Today it was a simple question written in large script across the page:

What are you tolerating?

Isn't that a great question?

We tolerate so many things, letting them accumulate on the edges -- and sometimes even in the center of our lives.  Unanswered letters, cluttered desks and drawers, cars that need to be fixed, freezers that overflow so we can't get one more thing in them.  All of these are irritating tolerations that distract us a hundred times a day.

Then there are the larger, more insidious tolerations.  We tolerate thoughts that eat up our precious energy:  "I can't, it doesn't matter, it's not worth the effort."

We allow ourselves to tolerate relationships that don't support our growth, less-than-ideal self-care, and work that is dead-end.

We rationalize this -- but we let so many things stay in place because we're ... what?  You fill in the blank.

We don't put forth the effort to make a change.

I learned a long time ago that our tolerations actively sap our energy.  For every undone project and every jam-packed clutter zone, we pay a price.  A tiny bit of energy drains out.  If you are tolerating lots of things, your energy deficit may be larger than your energy credit.

When you live with a chronic illness, this is an expensive way to go.  You need your energy, your initiative, your sense of power and control.

You can take that energy back.  It is a simple process.

Start eliminating those tolerations.

I suggest people begin with a list.  Don't worry about how many items there are -- or how minor they seem.  Every one counts.  Write them all down.

Look for the easiest ones to eliminate.

Decide what you can do today and tomorrow.  Do two or three.  Then pick five to cross off by next week.

I once worked with someone who needed new glasses and hadn't taken the time to go to the eye doctor.  She also was out of checks, and got behind on bills, and her daughter was toddling around in shoes that were too small.  Then there were minor things like a car inspection, and a hall closet where you couldn't hang up anything because it was full of coats no one was wearing.  She had a longer list, but this was where she decided to start.

Three weeks into the project, she was feeling stronger and happier and more in charge.  She even felt that her arthritis was improved.

I think it had a lot to do with not feeling so overwhelmed and stuck.

What are you tolerating?  What will you do about that today?  This week?

When you get rid of them, I promise you will feel better -- in lots of ways!

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Summer always seems like reading time.  Days are longer and schedules (at least in theory) are looser, so there is time and space to catch up on reading.  This is probably a holdover from my school days, but I still like the feeling.

In that spirit I want to recommend a book that came my way.  Rosalind Joffe and I met at an event last month, and she gave me a copy of her book, Women, Work, and Autoimmune Disease:  Keep Working Girlfriend!  (Rosalind Joffe and Joan Friedlander.  NY:  Demos Health, 2008.  demoshealth.com )

Ms. Joffe is an executive coach, and founded a coaching and career practice site cicoach.com to help others with chronic illnesses and workplace issues.  Along the way she co-authored this great book.  In it, she outlines some of the major issues that confront anyone who wants to work -- or questions when they are newly diagnosed whether they should work.

Joffe begins with her premise that working is good.  Not only for money, or insurance, but in order to get the more ephemeral feelings -- like being competent and making a contribution.  Her argument -- and it's a persuasive one -- is that working has many positive side effects that can contribute to health and well-being.

But Joffe also knows there is work, and there is work.  She guides readers through the difficult maze of sorting out the right kind of work, and the right workplace.  She helps the reader think about disclosing their illness and the pros and cons of such a decision.

Her chapters go more deeply into some issues -- asking readers to define success for themselves and to look with clear eyes at decisions they need to make.

Joffe is practical and no-nonsense about the realities of the workplace, but her tone is empathetic.  After all, she has the insight of someone who has "walked the talk."

The most valuable story Joffe shares is that you are not alone.  The dilemmas of working when you live with a chronic illness are not just yours to figure out -- many many people (and not just women!) live with these questions and challenges.

We are more knowledgeable when we are willing to share strategies, pitfalls, and triumphs.  We are more successful then, too.

While Joffe's book is aimed toward women (because that is her experience), what she writes about also applies to men -- so you guys can also benefit from many of her pragmatic suggestions.

If you are just beginning the journey, or if you are wondering about what your next steps are in the world of work, this book is a great resource.

Let me know what you think.  And if you have any suggestions for my summer list, please pass them on!

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