Ah, January.  A new year, a fresh start on the pain.

I kid.  My knees actually haven't been as bothersome lately.  Perhaps it's the Doggie Yoga to which I've been accompanying my Two-Legged Pets.  Perhaps all the rain we've been receiving lately has perversely relaxed my knees.

Whatever the reason, I am grateful.  Any bit of relief is welcome, especially considering how crazy the humans have been lately.  Is there something about this time of year that leads my ape-descended fellow Earth inhabitants to lose all rationale thought?  My pets actually tried to put me in a sweater the other day.  A sweater.  With little doilies and fluffy balls of cotton.

I couldn't help but give them my saddest puppy dog face when Mother lorded over me the next day, a shredded pink mess hanging from her hand.

To send Creak your thoughts:

• add a comment below
• or e-mail him by clicking here
  
  

Humans have it so easy, what with their big, spacious, uncovered ears.

Poor me.  A few days ago, an overwhelming itch invaded my ear.  I scratched and scratched, until I felt my skin go raw.  But this was no ordinary itch.

Soon, I noticed huge globs of dark ear wax on my paw after scratching.  It carried a sweet, pungent smell.

My Two-Legged Pets took notice and, devoid of any ideas, I stared at them expectantly -- willing them to know what my body was doing.

One vet trip later, we discovered that I have -- wait for it -- a yeast infection in my ear.

Yes.  Yeast.

I have transformed into a sexually promiscuous middle-aged woman.

To send Creak your thoughts:

• add a comment below
• or e-mail him by clicking here
  
  

I've experienced a change of pace as of late.  The pain continues to come and go in spurts, so I find myself in a constant struggle to either control it or ignore it.

Perhaps there's been a change in weather – living in the Southwest, sometimes it's difficult to tell exactly when "summer" ends and "fall" (if we even have one) begins.  But a cool breeze has about recently.

I find myself lounging by the patio door, soaking up the sun's heat.  My pets have noticed my preferred spot of choice, moving my water bowl next to my kitchen mat.

I'm not much in the mood to complain this week.  I'm having too much fun lying here.

To send Creak your thoughts:

• add a comment below
• or e-mail him by clicking here
  
  

I can get hairy.  My two-legged pets take me the infernal grooming place every 32 meals or so, where way-too-perky humans mutilate my nails, soak me to the bone, and place me inside a deafening wind tunnel.

Despite having received a near full-body buzz cut on these trips (except for my voluminous tail ... why do they think that's attractive?  It's like I have a Goodyear blimp trailing me everywhere!), my pets forget to take advantage of the situation and apply my anti-flea and tick topical agent.  They wait and get it stuck in my fur -- all smelly and goopy.  (And then THEY want to complain about "Creak's odor."  Really.)

Apparently my constant scratching of myself has paid off.  The Two-Leggers noticed their anti-vermin solution was anything but, and have now switched me to chewable tablets.  (They taste like Flintstones vitamins.)

Here's hoping this human answer works.  (Though, remember it is humans who place dogs in bags ... to carry them around.  Sanity?)

To send Creak your thoughts:

• add a comment below
• or e-mail him by clicking here
  
  

So I'm getting older.  And have to go to the bathroom more often.

Deal.

The endless love I shower upon you, my Two-Leggeds, should more than make up for a quick bathroom respite here and there.

Recently my pets took me to visit others related to them -- who, I claim by default as my pets, too.  I enjoy seeing them.  They take pity on my haggard, osteoarthritis-riddled knees and slide me honey ham beneath the table.  (My pets work tirelessly to hide their food from me.  Like my knees could get any worse.)

But the car ride over irks me.  Something about the canned sounds, the lack of space, and the constant vibrations ... I step out of the car for a bathroom break and find my already sore knees unable to function.  Dizziness invariably ensues.

I thought humans were supposed to be the most brilliant creatures on earth.  But, after all this time, they still haven't figured out how to fix my knees, nor fly their cars -- thus achieving a smoother trip?

I guess I have to deal.

To send Creak your thoughts:

• add a comment below
• or e-mail him by clicking here