Dear Ms. Meniscus, I find myself nitpicking my girlfriend sometimes, and I don't even mean to do it ... I don't want to do it ... and it hurts her feelings. I resolve myself not to do it again, but I do. How can I stop? -- Paul in Pierre
Communication within relationships is vital -- first, tell your girlfriend exactly what you told me. Opening up and claiming responsibility for your words should erase potential resentment on her part.
She can help you in this process -- but you must be ready to accept situations as they are and let go of your stringent expectations of her. If it is important to you that something be done differently, kindly ask her if she can and explain why.
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