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A Relationship's Downward Spiral

My boyfriend and I moved in together a few months ago and things just aren't the way they were before. There is no conversation, no affection (although I try my hardest) and he just seems so uninterested. I need some advice on how to get back on track because we are losing each other. -- Sally in San Diego

Dear Sally,

Ah, moving in together.  The Death Knell for so many relationships -- whether romantic or between friends.  You never truly get to know someone until you inhabit the same space with them.

Look, for your own sanity, you have to consider that the relationship may be ending -- end your suffering and move out.

However, if you're willing to work for it, communication (as always) is key.  Sit down and talk with your boyfriend.  He's a guy, so he'll be reluctant.  Be persistent.  Explain to him exactly how you feel -- and how the actions he takes make you feel.  He may not realize anything is wrong.

Then again, he may realize things are wrong, but doesn't know what to do or how to broach the subject.  Provide him that opportunity.

Consider continuing to date -- but moving back out to give each other space.

Also, suggest couples counseling with a psychologist, pastor, or other trusted, qualified family friend.-- M

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